Once More Unto The Breach
-Sarah Jane O'Connor
This is my final column; the next document I finish will be over 150 pages and make for far less thrilling reading. Even my mum will only skim read it. As I enter my final two months as a Ph.D. student, here are my final thoughts.
People will often say (myself included) to treat a thesis like a job. Most of the time, this is fine. But there will come a time when that's not enough. A month out from submitting you can't be knocking off at 5pm, unless you're totally awesome (and PS I still hate you). At some point, in order to finish, it has to eat you alive. Then it'll be like in The Princess Bride when Westley jumps into the lightning sand. It'll go silent and everyone will think you're dead, then you come clawing your way back, out of the darkness, thesis in hand. Like a Boss.
I wrote a while back about future self, and the deliberate ways we screw ourselves over – but you can also be aware of this, and instead opt to set yourself up in the best way. Make the path of least resistance the one you need to take. Cook meals and freeze them, leave everything in your office so you can't do anything without heading in. Set due dates and tell everyone about them. Then just write the fucking thing. As terrible as if feels at the time (and it feels terrible), it's just a blip on the radar. So get it done and move on with your life.
Thesis brain is real. It will mean forgetting the name of someone you've spoken to weekly for the last year. It'll mean not knowing what day it is (whatever it is, I know it ends in a "y"). It'll mean losing your train of thought halfway through a sentence and sounding suspiciously like a stroke victim. As I found out this morning, it will mean sitting for several minutes waiting for your computer to start before realising you haven't even turned it on yet. Make the most of getting to blame all your acts of stupidity on thesis brain.
Your friends will worry about you, because you'll always seem slightly off-kilter. No one will quite know how to talk to you; they want to be supportive, but they won't quite know whether to ask questions about progress, or just talk to you about distracting rubbish. If you're anything like me, your fuse will be incredibly short and the stupidest things will send you into a fury. Try not to alienate your friends.
But then one day it will be done. You'll spend a few more days proof-reading, cross-checking references, agonising over small details. Then it will be printed, and bound, and you will go to the pub and spill beer on your personal copy. And it will be amazing. Aim for that.
Happy thesising, friends. See you on the other side.
People will often say (myself included) to treat a thesis like a job. Most of the time, this is fine. But there will come a time when that's not enough. A month out from submitting you can't be knocking off at 5pm, unless you're totally awesome (and PS I still hate you). At some point, in order to finish, it has to eat you alive. Then it'll be like in The Princess Bride when Westley jumps into the lightning sand. It'll go silent and everyone will think you're dead, then you come clawing your way back, out of the darkness, thesis in hand. Like a Boss.
I wrote a while back about future self, and the deliberate ways we screw ourselves over – but you can also be aware of this, and instead opt to set yourself up in the best way. Make the path of least resistance the one you need to take. Cook meals and freeze them, leave everything in your office so you can't do anything without heading in. Set due dates and tell everyone about them. Then just write the fucking thing. As terrible as if feels at the time (and it feels terrible), it's just a blip on the radar. So get it done and move on with your life.
Thesis brain is real. It will mean forgetting the name of someone you've spoken to weekly for the last year. It'll mean not knowing what day it is (whatever it is, I know it ends in a "y"). It'll mean losing your train of thought halfway through a sentence and sounding suspiciously like a stroke victim. As I found out this morning, it will mean sitting for several minutes waiting for your computer to start before realising you haven't even turned it on yet. Make the most of getting to blame all your acts of stupidity on thesis brain.
Your friends will worry about you, because you'll always seem slightly off-kilter. No one will quite know how to talk to you; they want to be supportive, but they won't quite know whether to ask questions about progress, or just talk to you about distracting rubbish. If you're anything like me, your fuse will be incredibly short and the stupidest things will send you into a fury. Try not to alienate your friends.
But then one day it will be done. You'll spend a few more days proof-reading, cross-checking references, agonising over small details. Then it will be printed, and bound, and you will go to the pub and spill beer on your personal copy. And it will be amazing. Aim for that.
Happy thesising, friends. See you on the other side.
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